WHAT’S ON TV TONIGHT: THE TATTOOIST OF AUSCHWITZ, A MAN IN FULL AND MORE
Thursday 2 May
Sky Atlantic, 2.05am & 9pm
This immensely moving six-part drama is based on Heather Morris’s bestselling novel, inspired by the story of Holocaust survivors Lale and Gita Sokolov who met while prisoners in Auschwitz. It’s a remarkable story of love triumphing over evil, with Jonah Hauer-King (World on Fire) sensitively portraying the young Lale. His job was to ink identification numbers on fellow prisoners’ arms – a job that he took, with great regret and shame, because “I was 26 and I wanted to live” – and is how he crossed paths with Gita Furmanova (Baptiste’s Anna Próchniak). That they survived was a miracle, and here the forces that combined against them are represented in the form of volatile SS officer Baretzki (Jonas Nay).
The devastating events of the 1940s are interwoven with that of the older Lale (Harvey Keitel), by now in his eighties and living in Melbourne, who is plagued by horrific memories. Yet when he recounts his tale to Morris (Melanie Lynskey) he starts by saying: “This is a love story.” It sounds incongruous, but we see why – and the title song, Love Will Survive by Barbra Streisand, is a stunning fit. Available as a boxset. VL
Netflix
A new drama series from David E Kelley (Big Little Lies) is always good news, even better when it stars Jeff Daniels and is based on a Tom Wolfe novel. Daniels plays Charlie Croker, an Atlanta tycoon whose property empire is about to come crashing down, with foes including banks, local politicians and ex-wife Martha (Diane Lane).
Secrets of the Neanderthals
Netflix
A delve into the mysteries surrounding the Neanderthals and what their fossil record tells us – and, more intriguingly, their disappearance. Patrick Stewart lends his stentorian tones to narrate this one-off documentary about our Eurasian ancient ancestors who roamed from Russia to the Atlantic coast more than 300,000 years ago.
Wildlife Rescue
Channel 4, 8pm
More from the South Essex Wildlife Hospital, as the team attempts to return injured animals back to the wild. This week they have to teach an orphaned fawn how to feed, because she was abandoned before her instinct to suckle kicked in, while a grey seal pup refuses to eat after being attacked by a dog.
Instagram’s Worst Con Artist
ITV1, 9pm
The equal parts fascinating and infuriating two-part documentary about Australian health influencer Belle Gibson concludes, as we learn how her lies about being cured of a cancer she didn’t have were unearthed by sceptical journalists, while family members talk about her childhood and the possible origins of her compulsive lying.
Joe & Katherine’s Bargain Holidays
Channel 4, 10pm
The odd-couple travel show continues in Bulgaria as bargain lover Joe Wilkinson attempts to show fellow comedian Katherine Ryan that affordable doesn’t mean unenjoyable. Their trip to the Black Sea resort of Sozopol is threatened off the bat by Ryan’s meltdown over a delayed economy flight.
Johnson & Knopfler’s Music Legends
Sky Arts, 10pm
Sam Fender meets fellow Geordies Brian Johnson (AC/DC) and Mark Knopfler (Dire Straits) to discuss what made him want to be a musician. The 29-year-old “saviour of British rock” discusses his tough upbringing in North Shields, what inspires his lyrics, and his all-time favourite gigs from Glastonbury to St James’s Park.
Galaxy Quest (1999) ★★★★
Film4, 4.30pm
“By Grabthar’s hammer, by the Sons of Warvan, you shall be avenged!” You don’t have to be a Star Trek fan to appreciate the sublime silliness of Dean Parisot’s spoof sci-fi, as a bunch of washed-up actors (played by Tim Allen, Sigourney Weaver and Alan Rickman) from a cancelled TV space opera find themselves beamed, for real, into the Klaatu Nebula by friendly aliens who need their help against a race of reptilian warmongers.
The Browning Version (1951, b/w) ★★★★★
Talking Pictures TV, 5.35pm
Let’s pretend that Mike Figgis never remade The Browning Version and stick with this flawless adaptation of Terence Rattigan’s play instead. It follows an ageing Classics master (Michael Redgrave) whose life begins to fall apart: he must retire early, his wife has been having an affair and the pupils all hate him. It’s easy to see how the film influenced Alexander Payne’s The Holdovers.
Film of the Week: The History Boys (2006) ★★★★★
BBC Four, 10pm
Alan Bennett’s timeless play about precocious grammar-school boys pushing for Oxbridge is now best remembered for two things: the hilarious refrain “How do I define history? It’s just one f---ing thing after another” and its brilliant cast of young Britons, who would go on to become some of our favourite stars. Above all, it remains a truly British ode to youth, hardwork and meritocracy. The play, which was a smash-hit for the National Theatre under Nicholas Hytner (who directs the film) and won Olivier and Tony awards, is celebrating its 20th anniversary next month, with a revival of the show touring the UK later this year. So settle down and fall in love with Richard Griffiths’s kind but corrupted English teacher, intent on inspiring and getting the best out of his boys. The NT production’s original cast all reunite for the film, making it even more of a treat: there’s James Corden’s class clown Timms, Dominic Cooper’s smooth-talking Stuart and Samuel Barnett’s timid David, who is grappling with his sexuality. It’s a truly generation-defining cast that just brims with charm and purpose. Frances de la Tour and Penelope Wilton are stellar in support, too.
A Beautiful Mind (2001) ★★★
Sky Showcase, 10.05pm
Russell Crowe piles on the mannerisms as John Nash, the Nobel Prize-winning mathematician who contended with schizophrenia. Ron Howard’s biopic won the Best Picture Oscar, though it underestimates the audience’s intelligence by suggesting that the efforts of a good wife (played by Jennifer Connelly) are far better than actual medication. Still, it’s entertaining fare, and with a dynamite twist as well.
Friday 3 May
Clarkson’s Farm
Amazon Prime Video
It’s all doom and gloom at Diddly Squat Farm as season three of Jeremy Clarkson’s unlikely – but all the more entertaining for that – agricultural odyssey gets under way. Not only has a closure notice been served on the farm restaurant, but the council has set its sights also on the farm-shop’s car park. Which means, somehow (loud as the howls of protest are, detail is not the series’ strong point), that half the cow herd must be dispatched. And to add to the pain, the dry weather – we’re still in 2022 as the series begins – is ruining the crops, the tractor needs a costly service, and the state of the world beyond the farm augurs only massive cost increases (rampant inflation, rocketing fuel prices) and ever-decreasing yields.
Desperate to find new income streams, Clarkson’s brainstorming lands on “farming the unfarmed” – attempting to exploit the 500 acres of his estate given over to hedgerows and woodland – and launching new ventures including hoovering blackberries for jam, goat herding, deer hunting, mushroom growing and pig farming (“We could have Piggly Squat sausages – genius!”). The first four episodes drop today (Friday 3), with the remaining four on May 10. GO
Welcome to Wrexham
Disney+
Hollywood actors Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney’s purchase of Wrexham AFC in 2020 brought global attention to the struggling Welsh side, and saw the club scramble to promotion to the English Football League last year. As fans know, that turned into another wild ride – documented thrillingly in this third series, which kicks off with a double-bill following the team as they face their new pressures head on.
Granite Harbour
BBC One, 8pm
The Scottish crime drama returns for a moody second series with the members of Aberdeen’s major investigation team – led by Bartlett (Hannah Donaldson) and Lindo (Romario Simpson) – investigating two murders that, initially at least, appear to be unconnected. Elsewhere, the city’s biggest crime family, the McFaddens, are making a bid for legitimacy.
The Big Steam Adventure
Channel 5, 8pm
Last year, newsreader John Sergeant fulfilled a lifelong ambition: chugging entertainingly from London to Scotland by steam power alone. Now he’s back again with steam enthusiasts Peter Davison and Paul “Piglet” Middleton, traversing various other parts of the country – starting tonight in the Lake District – in a multitude of steam-powered vehicles.
Have I Got News For You
BBC One, 9pm
Lyse Doucet, the BBC’s Chief International Correspondent, and comedian Chloe Petts are Ian Hislop and Paul Merton’s guest panellists, while Martin Clunes takes on hosting duties.
Gardeners’ World
BBC Two, 9pm
At Longmeadow, Monty Don continues planting up the mound, prepares the ground for the cottage garden’s summer display and finally gets some seed sown in the vegetable garden. Plus, Nick Bailey explores a Devon garden that combines historic charm with cutting-edge design.
Michael Portillo’s Long Weekends
Channel 5, 9pm
The former politician enjoys a taste of living la dolce vita in Milan. Italy’s capital of fashion, design and industry presents him with a packed itinerary as he tries out everything from a ride on a vintage Lambretta to a dizzying tour of the historic Duomo, via a trip to the Leonardo da Vinci Museum. Food and drink is covered too, of course, with lessons in cooking risotto and mixing negronis.
Unfrosted (2024)
Netflix
The latest addition to the origin-movie sub-genre (think Air, Flamin’ Hot and BlackBerry) promises to be a good deal more fun, at least. Directed by and starring Jerry Seinfeld, it follows the corporate battle over America’s new king of breakfast in the 1960s: the humble Pop-Tart. With Kellogg’s and Post Cereals in uproar over the toaster-ready interloper, who will manage to buy the company and come out on top? Melissa McCarthy and James Marsden co-star.
Saint Maud (2019) ★★★★★
Film4, 10.50pm
Rose Glass’s directorial debut is a terrific, terrifying psychological horror set in Scarborough, where nurse Maud (The Rings of Power’s Morfydd Clark) has been assigned a new patient. Her early career was blighted by trauma, and she’s now found religion – or, more accurately, a creepy spin on it. Beforehand, at 9pm, Kristen Stewart stars in action-horror Underwater; Glass and Stewarts’s superb new film, Love Lies Bleeding, is in cinemas now.
Kursk: The Last Mission (2018) ★★★
BBC Two, 11.55pm
If only they’d prised it open a day sooner… This is the theory underlying Kursk, director Thomas Vinterberg’s clenched, mournful account of the 2000 submarine disaster which claimed the lives of all 118 Russian crew on board. Saving Private Ryan’s Robert Rodat wrote the script; the starry cast includes Colin Firth, Matthias Schoenaerts and Léa Seydoux (on fantastic form).
Man Up (2015) ★★★★
BBC One, 12.10am
Ben Palmer’s oh-so-British romcom (that isn’t very romantic, but that suits) stars a sizzling Simon Pegg and Lake Bell. The latter plays Nancy, a Bridget Jones-type character, who, on the way to her parents’ 40th wedding anniversary, is mistakenly identified as the blind date whom Jack (Pegg, as hilarious as ever) has been waiting for at Waterloo station. Nancy goes along with it and they wind up having a ball.
Saturday 4 May
Spy/Master
BBC Four, 9pm & 9.50pm
Espionage dramas just haven’t been the same (with the possible exception of Mick Herron’s splendidly adapted Apple TV+ series Slow Horses) since the collapse of the Soviet Union. So it is a particular joy to slip into the bleak, spycraft-packed, Cold War-era embrace of this atmospheric HBO series set at the heart of Romanian dictator Nicolae Ceaușescu’s Iron Curtain intelligence network in the late 1970s.
Alec Secăreanu plays the role of Ceaușescu’s most trusted spook-cum-foreign-affairs-advisor Victor Godeanu to perfection, embodying a politically deft security chief weighed down by multiple divided loyalties and threats from all sides. His inscrutableness is key to how tonight’s opening episodes (of six) play out as, with mounting tension, we come to appreciate the overwhelming paranoia of the world in which he lives and – with the KGB, Stasi and CIA all also eager to get a piece of him – just how much he needs to escape it. A great supporting cast, spot-on costume design and terrific location work (with various bits of Romania and Hungary standing in for 1970s Belgrade, Berlin, Vienna, Bonn and Camp David) help to keep the suspense levels sky high. GO
John Mulaney Presents: Everybody’s in LA
Netflix
Hot-ticket US comedian John Mulaney streams six shows live (that’s at around 2.30-3am here) from the boulevards of LA over the next six days as part of the Netflix Is a Joke festival, walking the city streets and joshing with “ordinary” folk in the company of some of his (as yet unconfirmed) A-list pals.
Bettany Hughes’ Treasures of the World
Channel 4, 7pm
Back in Azerbaijan, the historian visits the highest village in Europe that was occupied by Romans around 2,000 years ago. Hughes also explores the legacy of the “Shakespeare of the East”, before visiting the landlocked province of Nakhchivan.
Our Dream Farm with Matt Baker
Channel 4, 8pm
As the National Trust’s search for a tenant farmer hots up, the remaining applicants compete to drive a hard bargain at the local livestock market. They also get to prove their conservation chops on a wetland restoration project and, most importantly, outline their business plans to the Trust’s estate managers, as well as host Matt Baker.
Inside Windsor Castle
Channel 5, 9pm
More insights into life behind royal castle walls as Xand van Tulleken explores the King’s fitness regime, JJ Chalmers finds out what a full English breakfast meant to George III (clue: there were less beans involved) and Raksha Dave combs through the hidden horrors in Queen Charlotte’s hair.
Traces
BBC One, 9.20pm
The second series of the Dundee-based crime series comes to a tense close. Sarah (Laura Fraser) learns from McKinven (Michael Nardone) that another attack is planned and finds evidence that a suicide vest was made in the bomber’s flat. When the suspect is caught on CCTV heading towards the city’s V&A museum, the race is on to prevent another devastating explosion.
Jackie O: Style & Scandal
Channel 5, 10pm
Thirty years on from her death, aged 64, in 1994, this documentary explores the contrasting threads of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis’s life – from high glamour in the White House to heartbreaking tragedy – and how drugs, alcohol and the security blanket of wealth helped her to cope with her life’s challenges.
Mr Popper’s Penguins (2011) ★★★
Channel 4, 12.05pm
Jim Carrey returns once again to baffled bemusement in this surreal comedy about a property shark who inherits six penguins from his father, who died in Antarctica. His attempts to give them away are scuppered by his children, who fall in love with the birds. Providing you don’t expect sophistication, this is an enjoyable film sustained by glimpses of comic brilliance from Carrey.
City Lights (1931, b/w) ★★★★★
Sky Arts, 1pm
Charlie Chaplin’s “Little Tramp” character swaps slapstick antics for romance in this sweet-natured film, widely considered to be his best. Although it isn’t completely silent like Chaplin’s other movies – it features a rousing musical score and sound effects. The plot follows Chaplin’s Tramp as he falls in love with a blind flower girl (Virginia Cherrill) and develops a friendship with a tempestuous alcoholic millionaire (Harry Myers).
Henry V (1989) ★★★★★
BBC Two, 1.15pm
Kenneth Branagh directs (for the first time) and takes on the role of the ruthless King, who is only kept going in the brutal Hundred Years’ War with France by the promise of winning the hand of beautiful Katherine (Emma Thompson). Widely considered one of the greatest Shakespearean adaptations of all time, Henry V earned three Oscar nominations, including Best Director and Best Actor, and won for Best Costume Design.
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011) ★★★★
ITV1, 10.10pm
All too often, reboots of classic films fail to live up to the magic of the original. Planet of the Apes (1968), based on French author Pierre Boulle’s 1963 novel, is one such classic – a towering, at times terrifying combination of sci-fi tropes and memorable characters. Thus, British director Rupert Wyatt’s (The Escapist) decision to give the story a new lease of life (and kickstart a mega-million dollar franchise) was a tense one. Thankfully, Rise of the Planet of the Apes is a perfect family-friendly blockbuster, containing action-packed fight scenes, dazzling special effects (which were nominated for an Oscar) and heroes (and villains) you can’t help but root for in stars Andy Serkis and James Franco. Serkis provides a subtle motion-capture performance as intelligent ape Caesar, who begins to question nature’s hierarchy (and why humans rule) after being imprisoned in an animal sanctuary, while Franco is moving as his guardian. Freida Pinto, John Lithgow and Brian Cox co-star. Threequel War for the Planet of the Apes is on Film4 on Wednesday; Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes, the fourth instalment in the reboot franchise and 10th overall, is in cinemas from Thursday.
We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011) ★★★★★
BBC Two, midnight
An extraordinary and haunting vision adapted from Lionel Shriver’s bestselling novel, this killer thriller explores the fractious relationship between a sociopathic young boy, Kevin (Ezra Miller), and his guilt-stricken mother, Eva (Tilda Swinton). Miller’s performance is both entrancing and repulsive, which makes the film hard to watch, but it is definitely worth it.
Sunday 5 May
The Responder
BBC One, 9pm
While both are thrillers addressing rapid-response policing, Tony Schumacher’s The Responder is a different beast to its Belfast cousin Blue Lights: grimier, twistier and leaning heavily on its excellent leading man. Fortunately, Martin Freeman is once again up to the job, with another fiercely committed performance as Liverpudlian copper Chris Carson, who is desperate to escape the night shift, teetering on the verge of a nervous breakdown and running the gamut of intonation from chummy to threatening whenever he deploys the term “mate”.
Six months on from the first series, Chris’s marriage to Kate (MyAnna Buring) has broken down, his violent father (Bernard Hill) is infirm and the two scallies (Emily Fairn and Josh Finan) he helped out in series one are once again drifting into choppy waters. While former partner Rachel (Adelayo Adedayo) is still struggling with the aftermath of an abusive relationship, Chris is once again being blackmailed into doing work of questionable legality, although the pressure comes from a wholly unexpected quarter. Breathlessly tense and supremely well-acted. The whole series is available on the iPlayer. GT
Mammals
BBC One, 7pm
The final episode of the beguiling wildlife series once again makes explicit the links between the survival of a plethora of species and the activities of mankind, this time in forests around the world. Tonight’s highlights include tree-climbing lions in Uganda, an astounding number of fruit bats taking to the skies over Zambia and, of course, the chimps, who in this sequence are busy setting a trap for a mangabey monkey.
Our Welsh Chapel Dream
Channel 4, 8pm
Clearly looking for a more intimate and local alternative to Escape to the Chateau, this new series follows another face of the broadcaster – The Great Pottery Throwdown’s Keith Brymer Jones – and his partner, as they attempt to restore a derelict Pwllheli chapel to something akin to its former glory. First, however, they must persuade its current residents, a nest of pigeons, to move out.
Red Eye
ITV1, 9pm
While it cannot help but resemble Hijack done on the cheap, Peter A Dowling’s chaotic thriller still has enough going for it to grip, not least Jing Lusi’s intense performance. Her DC Hana Li tonight begins to join the dots between Matthew Nolan (Richard Armitage), the Chinese Intelligence service and a shadowy conference company based in Beijing.
The Piano
Channel 4, 9pm
More jawdroppers tinkle the ivories as we journey to Cardiff Central Station in Wales – the Land of Song – where an angelic performance with a male voice choir reduces Mika, Lang Lang and Claudia Winkleman to tears.
Dopesick
BBC Two, 10pm & 10.55pm
Another canny American buy-in, this deeply alarming exposé of opioid addiction and corporate malfeasance gets ever murkier and bleaker as Richard Sackler’s (Michael Stuhlbarg) ambitions for OxyContin expand and reputation management takes priority over patient well-being. Michael Keaton (who won a Golden Globe and an Emmy) also stars.
The Incredibly Talented Lucy
Channel 4, 10.05pm
Even if she had not won the first series of The Piano, 13-year-old Lucy Illingworth would have been its breakout star. This moving one-off documents her many years working with her music teacher, Daniel Bath, and their combined efforts to reckon with her newfound fame and the pressure of performing at the King’s Coronation concert.
Stuart Little (1999) ★★★
ITV1, 12.45pm
This family action movie, inspired by EB White’s beloved children’s novel, stars Hugh Laurie and Geena Davis as the Littles, a couple who adopt an anthropomorphic mouse (voiced by Back to the Future’s Michael J Fox) called Stuart as a brother for their son, George (cute Jonathan Lipnicki, who also stole hearts in Jerry Maguire). It’s a charmingly silly treat for all ages, and the computer graphics have held up pretty well.
Out of Darkness (2022) ★★★
Sky Cinema Premiere, 10pm
Scottish director Andrew Cumming crafts a bleak portrait of Stone-Age life in this Highlands-set horror. It follows six early humans as they grapple with fights and furies, from choosing an elected leader to getting rid of bloodthirsty spirits. Cummings’s decision not to have his actors speak in English, but a made-up language (combining Arabic, Basque and Sanskrit) is inspired. Safia Oakley-Green stars. Streaming from Saturday.
Senna (2010) ★★★★
Channel 4, 11.20pm
You don’t have to like motor racing to be gripped by Asif Kapadia’s shattering documentary about Ayrton Senna. It helps that the Brazilian F1 star cut a dashing figure with his film star looks. His rivalry with Alain Prost is well documented, as is the fateful 1994 San Marino Grand Prix which cost Senna his life. Similarly, Rush, about James Hunt and Niki Lauda’s 1970s racing thrills, is on BBC Two tomorrow at 10pm.
The Ones Below (2016) ★★★
BBC Two, 11.55pm
Writer David Farr makes his directorial debut with this gripping domestic thriller set in London. It follows two couples (played by Clémence Poésy, David Morrissey, Stephen Campbell Moore and Laura Birn) who live in the same apartment building. Both of the women are pregnant and become friends, united by their changing emotions and lifestyles, until a tragic accident changes everything forever.
Bank Holiday Monday
Spacey Unmasked
Channel 4, 9pm
In July 2023, Kevin Spacey, one of the most high-profile scalps of the MeToo movement, was acquitted on all charges of sexual offences against four men in a UK trial. Questions regarding the star’s alleged conduct are unlikely to cease after this extraordinary two-part documentary is aired. It features allegations of inappropriate sexual behaviour from 10 men, none of whom were involved with the trial. All but one have never spoken about Spacey publicly before.
The accusations span five decades. Daniel, an actor who played a secret-service agent on Spacey’s hit Netflix show House of Cards, accuses the star of groping his penis while on set. Scott, an actor and ex-Marine, recalls an instance where he claims Spacey masturbated next to him in a cinema. The second episode, airing tomorrow, covers Spacey’s time as creative director of the Old Vic theatre, London, which is portrayed here as a hunting ground for young prey. Ruari, an actor who starred in Sweet Bird of Youth, alleges that Spacey sexually assaulted him at the play’s press-night party. The documentary paints a disturbing portrait of a powerful predator – and his fall from grace. SK
The Finish Line
BBC One, 4.30pm
There is a compelling simplicity to this daytime quiz show, in which contestants race their podiums across the studio floor by correctly answering questions. It helps too that Roman Kemp and Sarah Greene are such relaxed hosts. The second series kicks off today with a quick-witted roller-derby player called Kit.
Marcus Wareing Simply Provence
BBC Two, 6.30pm
This breezy 15-part series follows Marcus Wareing as he takes us on a culinary tour of Provence. He begins by marvelling at the southern French region’s 50 varieties of tomato, before visiting a school whose dinners consist of a three-course fine-dining menu (their lobster bisque puts Britain’s stodgy school dinners to shame).
MasterChef
BBC One, 8pm
The final 16 cooks enter knockout week. Tonight, the first group of eight are whittled down to five through a fiendish invention test. Those remaining are then rewarded with working in the formidable kitchen of fine-dining London bistro Nessa, where they must impress Michelin-trained chef Tom Cenci.
Jamie Cooks Spring
Channel 4, 8pm
The second week of Jamie Oliver’s spring-themed cooking show features a guest appearance from the chef’s father, Trevor. The pair share one of their favourite meals: fresh asparagus spears wrapped in smoky bacon, served with sea bass. Elsewhere, Oliver does his best Countryfile impression with a segment on how to deter garden pests with companion planting.
Blue Lights
BBC One, 9pm
Another superbly tense episode of the Northern Ireland-set crime drama. Obnoxious Kenneth Branagh lookalike Shane (Frank Blake) goes rogue, much to the dismay of straight arrow cop-partner Tommy (Nathan Braniff). It is a classic case of rules versus results, but such heavy-handed policing is dangerous in a powder keg city like Belfast.
Beat the Chasers: Celebrity Special
ITV1, 9pm
Tonight’s line-up of celebrity contestants includes comedian Neil Delamere, newsreader Charlie Stayt, Bargain Hunt’s Danny Sebastian, and presenters Michelle Ackerley and Rick Edwards – there is a genuine brain box hidden among them. The celebrity special continues every night until Friday.
And So It Goes (2014) ★★
Great! Movies, 10.45am
Michael Douglas and Diane Keaton team up with director Rob Reiner for a spot of slapstick, but this romcom about a couple of senior citizens is as subtle as a sledgehammer and stands as a thin remake of As Good As It Gets. Neighbours Oren (Douglas) and Leah (Keaton) fall in love while looking after his grandchild. The greatness we’ve seen from the pair elsewhere makes it even more disappointing, but 90 minutes in their company still ranks high.
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018) ★★
ITV1, 3pm
Going back to a dinosaur-infested island continues to be a bad idea in this rickety franchise, directed by the usually dependable JA Bayona (The Orphanage) on Spielberg-cribbing autopilot. Half eco-disaster thriller, half spooky mansion creep-’em-up, it falls short of capturing the original’s magic, but it took $1.3 billion at the box office, making it the 20th highest-grossing film of the 21st century. Chris Pratt stars.
The Beatles: Eight Days a Week – The Touring Years (2016) ★★★★
Sky Showcase, 5pm
While you watch Ron Howard’s documentary, which focuses on the band’s hectic touring period from 1962-1966, you feel pop history whistling past at great speed. “We were force-grown, like rhubarb,” John Lennon observes. Elsewhere, Peter Jackson returns to the Fab Four (after Get Back) with his restoration of 1970 documentary Let It Be, on Disney+ from Wednesday.
Genghis Khan (1965) ★★★
Talking Pictures TV, 9.05pm
Henry Levin’s fictionalised account of the life of the Mongolian emperor is historically inaccurate, but good fun. Omar Sharif (star of the vastly superior Dr Zhivago of the same year) plays the despot, who rises from enslavement (by Stephen Boyd’s military chief) to leader of the army who unites Mongol tribes and conquers most of Asia, Europe and the Middle East. Good performances, even better sets and costumes.
Tuesday 7 May
Salman Rushdie: Through A Glass Darkly
BBC Two, 9pm
In this immensely moving interview, Alan Yentob talks to Salman Rushdie about his recently published memoir, Knife, in which the author reflects on the terrifying attempt on his life in upstate New York in August 2022 that left him blind in one eye, hospitalised for weeks and deeply traumatised. If you have already read the book or listened to it on Radio 4’s Book of the Week – or read The Telegraph’s recent interview with Rushdie – much of this will be familiar ground, although the background clips and, especially, the visualisation of the section in which Rushdie imagines interviewing his attacker – or “the A”, as he refers to him – undoubtedly add to the impact.
Yentob’s interview with Rushdie’s wife, Eliza, intercut at key parts of the narrative, not only adds context and emotion, but is also testament to the role their relationship played in Rushdie’s recovery. It’s followed at 10pm, on BBC Four, by a repeat of The Satanic Verses: 30 Years On, Mobeen Azhar’s 2019 documentary in which he looks back at the fatwa placed on Rushdie (by Iran) after the novel’s publication in 1989, and the impact that it had on British Muslims. GO
Narrow Escapes
Channel 4, 4pm
More dispatches from the lives of Britain’s narrowboaters. In the Midlands, Joel narrows down a location for his gig, and Taz and Shashi bump into an old friend, while in the Peak District, Jo has some baking to do for the new season.
Eurovision Song Contest
BBC One, 8pm
Live coverage from Malmö, Sweden of the first semi-final (the second is on Thursday) in which 15 countries – including Ireland, Poland and Portugal – compete for a place in Saturday’s final. Later, Olly Alexander’s Road to Eurovision ’24 (10.50pm) follows Britain’s entrant – an automatic finalist – as he prepares to perform single Dizzy on the big night.
Saving Lives at Sea
BBC Two, 8pm
More valiant RNLI rescues. On Scotland’s west coast, a crew race to save a paddleboarder swept out to sea; off Kent, meanwhile, the Gravesend crew assist a leisure boat taking on water; and, on the Somerset coast, a lifeboat dices with disaster attempting to rescue two walkers cut off by the tide.
For the Love of Dogs with Alison Hammond
ITV1, 8pm
This week, Alison Hammond helps a three-month-old whippet get its doggy-paddle right in the pool. She also meets two of Battersea’s long-stay residents – inseparable golden Labradors who, because they come as a pair, have struggled to find a home.
Changing Ends
ITV1, 8.30pm
Alan Carr’s sitcom, based on his childhood in Northampton, continues to surprise and delight. Tonight, his football coach dad (Shaun Dooley) is excited to sign a new star striker (a surprisingly hilarious turn from The Gallows Pole’s Michael Socha). But young Alan’s (Oliver Savell) own worst nightmare comes true when he mysteriously earns a spot on the school football team.
Holidaying in the 70s: Wish You Were Here
Channel 5, 9pm
Anthea Turner hosts this breezy two-part retro-fest about mass tourism’s early days, when Britons transitioned from homebirds into a nation of costa-cloggers and sunbed-lovers. Tonight, we relive the heady trip to the travel agent and the glamour of air travel (including the long-gone complimentary food and drink). Plus, of course, the novel experience of having sea, sand and sun all in one place: Spain.
Words on Bathroom Walls (2020) ★★★
BBC Three, 9pm
Diary of a Wimpy Kid director Thor Freudenthal’s young-adult drama is a sensitive portrayal of mental illness, following teenager Adam (Charlie Plummer) who is diagnosed with schizophrenia after a psychotic episode in chemistry class. He’s plagued by voices: those of hippy Rebecca (AnnaSophia Robb), horny teenager Joaquin (Devon Bostick) and a thuggish bodyguard (Lobo Sebastian).
All the Money in the World (2017) ★★★★
Great! Movies, 9pm
Patiently waiting for Ridley Scott’s Gladiator sequel, starring Paul Mescal, to reach cinemas this winter? This tense thriller is the perfect chance to dig into his wider filmography, away from bloodthirsty Romans or terrifying aliens (see also House of Gucci, below). It’s a stylish dramatisation of the 1973 kidnapping of John Paul Getty III, grandson of the billionaire tycoon; Christopher Plummer and Michelle Williams star.
The Green Mile (1999) ★★★★
ITV4, 9pm
Tom Hanks stars in this adaptation of Stephen King’s entrancing novel. A stolid Death Row prison guard (Hanks) is shaken by the arrival of a black murder convict (Michael Clarke Duncan, a tour-de-force turn) who apparently has supernatural powers. It’s lighter than director Frank Darabont’s The Shawshank Redemption, but pleasingly creepy throughout.
Wednesday 8 May
Inside No 9
BBC One, 10pm
After eight seasons of spooks, witty wordplay and laugh-out-loud comedy, Inside No 9 – Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith’s gloriously original anthology series – approaches the finish line. The ninth (and final) series begins with Boo to a Goose, a crime mystery set aboard a late-night underground train that perfectly encapsulates what Inside No 9 has done so brilliantly for so long: well-written, fully fleshed-out characters descending into madness, malice or farce, shown in previous all-time great episodes such as The 12 Days of Christine (with Sheridan Smith), A Quiet Night In (with Denis Lawson) or Zanzibar (with Rory Kinnear).
When the train breaks down and plunges into darkness, a nurse’s (Philippa Dunne) purse is stolen. The passengers immediately point fingers at homeless man Mossy (This Country’s Charlie Cooper) – but finding the true culprit proves more difficult than first thought. Pitch-perfect performances from Cooper, Matthew Kelly, Susan Wokoma, Siobhan Finneran, Joel Fry and Mark Bonnar (quietly menacing as a high-school teacher who takes the law into his own hands) make this an episode worthy of a true British television gem. PP
Dark Matter
Apple TV+
Apple TV+’s latest sci-fi thriller (following the likes of Constellation and For All Mankind) stars Joel Edgerton as a Chicago physicist who becomes trapped in an alternate version of his own life, and must prevent his other self from harming his family. Also on Apple today is Chris Smith’s (Tiger King) three-part documentary Hollywood Con Queen.
Abbott Elementary
Disney+
Quinta Brunson’s warm, witty Emmy-sweeping school-set sitcom returns for a third (box-setted) series. Janine (Brunson) organises a hit careers day and bags a promotion, while chaotic headteacher Ava (Janelle James) does the unthinkable and starts being good at her job.
The Final: Attack on Wembley
Netflix
One imagines that Netflix were ready to shoot an uplifting film about an England win at Wembley on July 11, 2021. Instead, the Euros final descended into anarchy (and England lost on penalties): this documentary depicts the rampant drug-taking and drinking that led around 2,000 ticketless fans to storm the stadium.
Secrets and Spies: The Nuclear Game
BBC Two, 9pm
This terrific three-part documentary about KGB spy Oleg Gordievsky, who worked at the Soviet Embassy in London during the Cold War, features reflections from former aides to Thatcher and Reagan. For more intrigue, a rerun of the 1987 adaptation of John le Carré’s A Perfect Spy begins on BBC Four, introduced by star Peter Egan, at 10pm.
Painting Birds with Jim and Nancy Moir
Sky Arts, 9pm
Kicking off the second series of their pleasingly relaxed art show, the comedian and his wife visit London to spot and paint some peregrine falcons, who reside at the peak of high-rise apartment blocks.
Abba: Against the Odds
BBC One, 10.40pm; Wales, 11.10pm; NI, 11.40pm
The latest documentary to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the Swedish group’s Eurovision win in 1974 comes courtesy of the BBC and a host of European broadcasters, who have co-funded the film. This documentary covers that win (for Waterloo) as well as their hit albums and the personal conflicts within the group – and features impressive access to rare early footage from Swedish public television.
The Devil’s Disciple (1959, b/w) ★★★★
Talking Pictures TV, 11.05am
Adapted from George Bernard Shaw’s play, Guy Hamilton’s melodrama is a thrilling look at revenge and destiny. When Dick Dudgeon (Kirk Douglas) learns that his father was executed by the British in the Revolutionary War, he steals the body to give it a proper burial; a choice which threatens grave punishment, unless Laurence Olivier’s General can get him off the hook. Burt Lancaster also stars.
Space Cowboys (2000) ★★★
ITV4, 8pm
Clint Eastwood, who has had more than a little success playing earthbound cowboys, directs and stars in this middling sci-fi drama about four retirees who were passed over as astronauts in the 1950s, but are given the chance to fly into space: they’re needed to repair a satellite. Tommy Lee Jones, James Garner and Donald Sutherland co-star. Eastwood also co-composed the soaring score with Lennie Niehaus.
The Shape of Water (2017) ★★★★★
Film4, 11.45pm
Elisa (Sally Hawkins) is a mute who lives alone and works nights at the Occam Aerospace Research Centre. When she develops a relationship with The Asset (Doug Jones), an amphibious humanoid creature being studied by the government, she’s determined to free him. Hawkins radiates emotional intensity; Guillermo del Toro’s beautiful, Oscar-winning blood-curdler is as timeless as a fairy tale. Michael Shannon co-stars.
Thursday 9 May
Bodkin
Netflix
An unexpected first drama to emerge from Barack and Michelle Obama’s production company Higher Ground, Bodkin is an intriguing concoction, initially a quirky comedy whose darker edges come into sharp focus later on. It pairs Will Forte’s enthusiastic podcaster Gilbert with hard-nosed hack Dove (The Dry’s Siobhán Cullen) in search of the truth behind the disappearance of three strangers at a festival in the titular Irish community 25 years earlier. Gilbert is all relentless good cheer and lightly worn ego; Dove simmers with resentment and scorn over being uprooted from traditional journalism to the “necrophilia” of true crime following a professional tragedy.
They arrive, with affable driver Sean (Chris Walley) and gauche researcher Emmy (Robyn Cara) in tow, in a town brimming with Celtic cliché: eccentrics spouting homilies, pub singalongs and rampant superstition. But as Dove and Gilbert begin to dig, a few locals grow hostile. With a Who’s Who of Irish acting in support – Pom Boyd, Fionnula Flanagan, Pat Shortt – and a well-judged blend of folk horror, psychological drama and comedy, Jez Scharf’s debut series is all-round great craic. GT
Maxton Hall: the World Between Us
Amazon Prime Video
Based on Mona Kasten’s bestselling young adult novel Save Me, this soapy German drama pits posh boy James Beaufort (Damian Harding) against working-class girl Ruby Bell (Harriet Herbig-Matten) at an exclusive public school. Fans of Netflix’s Young Royals will lap it up.
Eurovision Song Contest
BBC One, 8pm
With 10 places still up for grabs in the Grand Final in Malmö on Saturday, the last 16 nations offer up their entries for the public vote. Watch out for Nemo, the Swiss band whose song The Code is already tipped for great things, and the Netherlands’ deeply eccentric Joost Klein’s single Europapa.
Double the Money
Channel 4, 8pm
Sue Perkins hosts this life-affirming spin on The Apprentice, where a dozen couples are each handed £250 and asked to use their initiative and entrepreneurial skills to double it within 36 hours, over and over until one pair wins £20,000. Any couple that fails to reach the target is eliminated, and with opening gambits including a car wash, flower stall and cocktail-making classes, the field is wide open. Continues tomorrow.
Murder, They Hope
BBC Two, 9pm
Sarah Hadland and Lee Mack are the guest stars in the final case for the crime busting coach-tour duo of Gemma (Sian Gibson) and Terry (Johnny Vegas), who are on home turf as a serial killer is deemed responsible for a series of deaths on buses in the Yorkshire Dales.
The Tattooist of Auschwitz
Sky Atlantic, 9pm
This heartbreaking adaptation of Heather Morris’s bestselling novel continues, with the fates of Auschwitz camp guard Baretski (Jonas Nay) and prisoner Lale (Jonah Hauer-King) increasingly entwined as the latter takes a chance to contact prisoner 4562 (Anna Próchniak).
Johnson & Knopfler’s Music Legends
Sky Arts, 10pm
Brian Johnson and Mark Knopfler up sticks to New York City to meet Cyndi Lauper, the sui generis pop star who talks the pair through her scrappy beginnings, triumphs in the 1980s (especially with Girls Just Wanna Have Fun) and tumultuous career ever since. From start to finish, via dulcimer-led takes on Time After Time and True Colours, she continues to do things her way.
The Silence of the Lambs (1991) ★★★★★
ITV1, 10.45pm
“I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.” Jonathan Demme’s adaptation of Thomas Harris’s novel won five Oscars and boosted the prestige of the horror genre. A serial killer nicknamed “Buffalo Bill” is murdering women; Jodie Foster plays the green FBI agent who seeks advice on how to catch the maniac from a convicted psychopath, Hannibal “the Cannibal” Lecter (Anthony Hopkins).
House of Gucci (2021) ★★★
BBC Two, 11.15pm
Ridley Scott’s crime drama feels like a soap opera with airs, but its star’s sheer chutzpah ensures that it’s never less than watchable. Lady Gaga returns to the screen for the first time since 2018’s A Star is Born to bring to life Patrizia Reggiani, ex-wife of Maurizio Gucci (Adam Driver), later imprisoned for commissioning the hitman who murdered him. The stellar cast vividly paint the family behind the famous designer clothes.
Happy as Lazzaro (2018) ★★★★★
Film4, 1.15am
Alice Rohrwacher is shaping up to be Italian cinema’s salvation – this stunning fable about an innocent peasant boy won the prize for Best Screenplay at Cannes, and her latest work, La Chimera (starring Josh O’Connor, and released in cinemas tomorrow), is already being lauded by critics. It depicts the close bond between poor Lazzaro (Adriano Tardiolo) and young nobleman Tancredi (Luca Chikovani).
Friday 10 May
Hidden Treasures of the National Trust
BBC Two, 9pm
A welcome second series goes behind the scenes at various National Trust properties to show the work of volunteers, curators and experts intent on keeping our heritage alive. Tonight’s opening episode (of six) concentrates on two properties, A la Ronde on the Devon coast and Kingston Lacy in Dorset. As one curator attests, every house tells a story and offers us fresh insight into history and heritage; here, we see how the owners of each property both defied the conventions of their respective time periods.
A la Ronde, opened in 1796, is a 16-sided Georgian house designed by cousins Mary and Jane Parminter. It is home to the extremely fragile Shell Gallery, which contains thousands of shells the women collected, and have since been damaged by water – now a priority for conservators. Meanwhile, at Kingston Lacy – the former grand home of the 19th-century adventurer and collector William John Bankes, who barely spent any time there due to his travels abroad – a specialist team is tasked with removing a large Rubens as it goes on loan. An operation that doesn’t go entirely smoothly. VL
Clarkson’s Farm
Amazon Prime Video
With the final four episodes of series three comes yet more “inspired” money-spinning ideas from Jeremy Clarkson and the rest of the team at Diddly Squat farm: but just how will his new piggy adventure fare? And, more importantly, can they ever impress cheerful advisor Charlie?
Sue Perkins: Lost in Thailand
Channel 5, 9pm
The comedian is in Thailand for the first time, so of course she must have a new three-part travelogue. In tonight’s opener she visits a women’s prison for a massage and climbs a rock face in order to abseil down a deep sinkhole.
The Twelve: Cinderella Murder
More4, 9pm
A second, gripping series of the Belgian courtroom drama which spawned the Australian version starring Sam Neill. Julie Bergman (Louisa Peeters) is on trial in Antwerp with her father, Anton (Koen De Graeve), for the murder of his partner; having been given different versions of events, the prosecutors are left to determine who’s telling the truth. In Flemish with subtitles.
The Young Offenders
BBC One, 9.30pm; Wales, 10.40pm
As the Irish comedy returns for a fourth, box-setted series, Conor (Alex Murphy) and Jock (Chris Walley) are stuck in jail in Cork and Colombia, respectively – after being duped into bringing back cocaine from their holiday to South America. On release, Conor tries to patch things up with girlfriend Linda (Demi Isaac Oviawe), but three years away may prove too much to overcome.
Suits
BBC One, from 10.40pm; Wales, from 11.10pm; NI, from 11.20pm
Think of this New York-set legal drama as Meghan Markle’s origin story – in career terms at least – as the now Duchess of Sussex played paralegal Rachel Zane for seven of the show’s nine seasons. Tonight’s opening double-bill introduces the main players, attorneys Harvey (Gabriel Macht) and Mike (Patrick J Adams). All nine series are on iPlayer.
Jon Richardson: The Knitwit
Channel 4, 11.05pm
The comedian recently announced his split from wife Lucy Beaumont, just as their mockumentary, Meet the Richardsons, came to an end. But their marriage and domestic grievances – such as why are there lights on upstairs when everyone is downstairs? – make up most of this stand-up show, recorded last year at the Hackney Empire.
Force of Nature: The Dry 2 (2024) ★★★
Sky Cinema Premiere
Robert Connolly’s tense thriller – a sequel to 2020’s The Dry – is based on Jane Harper’s novel. It centres on five women who head out on a hiking retreat in rural Australia, with only four returning safely. Detective Aaron Falk (Eric Bana) is tasked with deciphering their conflicting stories. Anna Torv and Robin McLeavy star. The first film is on Sky Showcase at 9pm on Tuesday.
There’s Something About Mary (1998) ★★★★
ITV2, 9pm
There are bad taste jokes in abundance in this Farrelly brothers comedy, but they’re balanced by plenty of heart. Ben Stiller is Ted, a shy man who realises that he’s still in love with Mary (Cameron Diaz), the date he tried to take to prom 13 years ago. To track her down, he hires Healy, an oily private-eye (Matt Dillon). But Healy also falls in love with her, and does his best to keep the pair apart.
The Magnificent Seven (2016) ★★★
ITV1, 11.15pm
Antoine Fuqua’s violent but uneven remake of John Sturges’s classic 1960 Western moves the action from Mexico to America: to the frontier town of Rose Krick, held to ransom by a sneering industrialist (Peter Sarsgaard), who uses the locals as forced labour. Seven heroes with deadly skills come to the aid of the community. Denzel Washington and Chris Pratt lead the cast.
Television previewers
Stephen Kelly (SK), Veronica Lee (VL), Gerard O’Donovan (GO), Poppie Platt (PP) and Gabriel Tate (GT)
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